Understanding other people’s emotions is an important skill in the workplace. It can enable us to resolve conflicts, to build more productive teams, and to improve our relationships with co-workers, clients, and customers. But, while most of us are confident about learning new technical skills, we may feel ill-equipped to develop our interpersonal skills and many people are self-conscious about discussing their own feelings, never mind anyone else’s.

Tips for increasing empathy skills

Practise and develop empathy by:

• not interrupting.
• not dismissing the person’s beliefs, even if you don’t share them.
• not being judgmental, accept that person’s views and reality, even if you can’t understand why or how they hold them.
• not talking too much in general. Do more: Active listening – Listen to understand, not to respond. Most of us spend half our time thinking about what we are going to say back to the person, this stops us giving our full attention to them
• Resist the urge to have a response, most times an acknowledgement of what they have just said is enough.
• Pay attention to how something is being said, as well as what is being said. Tone and rhythm of speech can tell us much about the person, their mood and level of distress or frustration.

Examples of how to respond:

• Thank you for sharing that with me.
• That sounds like that is really tough, how are you managing to cope with that?
• What do you think will be most helpful for you right now?
• Please tell me some more about that.

Listening to others’ stories can impact us, so it’s important to look after our own wellbeing. It’s important to make sure you debrief after difficult interactions and also that you operate within your boundaries at work by following organisation policy and procedures and Codes of Conduct. One of the risks of caring is compassion fatigue or burnout so don’t forget to look after yourself and practise self-care by:

• Seeking support at work by discussing and offloading difficult calls or situations. Talk it through with someone before you head home or log off for the day.
• Proactively check in on yourself and colleagues by noticing differences in mood, behaviour and thoughts. Seek support from colleagues, family or professionals.
• Looking after yourself – eat well, get good sleep, stay active, seek to minimise stress, connect with others, minimise use of alcohol and other drugs.
• Learning your triggers and vulnerabilities. Do certain types of situations push your buttons more than others? Think about why and what you can do to manage these situations differently.
• Identifying support networks and resources (at work and at home).
• Building self-awareness and understanding of your own mental wellbeing.