• Pulling away from friends, family or social activities
• Difficulty falling asleep, sleeping too much, or waking up still feeling tired
• Noticeable changes in eating habits or weight
• Frequent headaches, stomach issues, or other unexplained illnesses
• Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things
• Using alcohol or drugs more often to cope
• Lack of personal care and hygiene
• Increased anger and irritability
• Excessively worried about day-to-day tasks
• Expressing worthlessness or believing there’s no way forward.

Connecting isn’t about saying the perfect thing. It’s about creating a safe and supportive space where the other person feels comfortable opening up.

The following tips can help you start the conversation in a way that feels natural and compassionate.

• Choose the right time and place: Find a private, relaxed setting where they can feel at ease, like a café, park, or their home.
• Let them know why you’re there: Approach the conversation calmly and without judgement. Let them know you care about them and aren’t there to ‘fix’ or criticise them.
• Keep it simple: You don’t need the perfect words. Saying, ‘I’ve noticed you don’t seem yourself lately, and I wanted to check-in.’ can be a meaningful way to start.
• Be present: Use open body language, maintain eye contact, and give them your full attention. Put away distractions like your phone to show they have your focus.
• Acknowledge their feelings: Reassure them that their emotions are valid. For example, you could say, ‘It’s understandable to feel this way, given what you’re going through.’

Asking respectful and meaningful questions can make a big difference in helping someone feel comfortable sharing.

Below, you can read tips for helping the other person express themselves in their own words and at their own pace.

• Let them take the lead: Remind them that they can share as much or as little as they feel comfortable.
• Try to use open-ended questions: Open-ended questions encourage the other person to talk more freely, while yes-or-no questions might unintentionally close the conversation off. Ask things like, ‘How have you been feeling lately?’ or use a prompt like, ‘I’d love to hear what you’ve been going through.’
• Be patient and give them space: The other person might not open up right away and that’s okay. Avoid rushing or pushing for answers.
  Clarify and validate: Reflect back what they’ve shared to show you’re listening. For example, you can say, ‘It sounds like things have been really overwhelming for you lately.’
• Ask about their needs: Explore ways to support them by asking, ‘What do you think would help right now?’ or ‘What can I do to make things feel easier?’

Reminding is about helping the other person see their strengths, recognise their support systems, and feel hopeful about the future.

The tips below offer practical ways to highlight their resilience and guide them toward a sense of possibility.

• Highlight their strengths: Point out how they’ve faced challenges before and remind them of their ability to navigate this, too. For example, you can say, ‘I remember how you got through [specific challenge]. You’re stronger than you realise.’
• Encourage self-compassion: Let them know it’s okay to feel how they do and that seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.
• Point out their resources: Gently remind them of the support they already have, like friends, family, or professional services. For instance, you can say, ‘There are people who care about you and I’m here to help if you need.’
• Focus on possibilities: Reassure them that things can get better, even if it feels hard right now. You could say, ‘It’s tough right now, but there are steps you can take, and you don’t have to do it alone.'
• Avoid toxic positivity: Instead of pushing positivity, try acknowledging their feelings with empathy. Saying something like, ‘That sounds really tough. I'd love to help you find a path forward.,’ can help validate their feelings while feeling supported.

Empowering is about helping the other person take ownership of their journey while reassuring them that support is available every step of the way. It’s not about taking over or making decisions for them but rather encouraging small, manageable steps to help them feel more in control.

The tips below offer ways to guide and support them without adding pressure.

• Encourage small, actionable steps: Help them find one thing they can do to feel a bit better or regain a sense of control. For example, ‘Would it help to write down your thoughts or speak with a counsellor?’
• Support their decision-making: Let them decide what they need. You can ask, ‘What do you think would help right now? I’m here to support whatever you choose.’
• Offer resources without pressure: For instance, you can say, ‘There’s a free service I know of if you’d like me to share it, but no pressure at all.’
• Reinforce their capability: Remind them of their strengths. ‘You’ve already taken a big step by opening up. You’re doing an amazing job facing this.’
• Stay alongside them: Reassure them they’re not alone in figuring out the next steps. ‘I’m here for you, whether you want to talk more or need help working things out.’

On top of the general signs of mental health challenges listed earlier, there are specific warning signs that someone may be thinking about suicide.

These signs can sometimes be subtle, so it’s important to pay attention if you notice any of the following:

• Talking about wanting to end their life: This might include statements like, “I’m thinking about ending my life,” “I can’t take it anymore,” or “I just want the pain to stop.”
• Expressing feelings of hopelessness or being trapped: They may say things like, “I don’t see a way out” or “Things will never get better.”
• Making final preparations: They could be giving away treasured possessions, saying goodbyes that feel unusual or final, or making legal or financial arrangements, such as writing a will.
• Sudden calmness or relief: After a period of distress, they might suddenly seem peaceful or resolved, which could indicate they’ve made a decision to end their life.
• Preoccupation with death: Talking, writing, or drawing about death, or showing an unusual interest in topics related to dying.
• Risky or self-destructive behaviours: Engaging in actions like reckless driving, heavy drinking, or drug use, especially if it’s out of character or increasing.
• Withdrawing from others: Isolating from friends and family or avoiding activities they once enjoyed.
• Feelings of being a burden: They may say things like, “Everyone would be better off without me” or “I’m just causing problems for everyone.”
• Changes in routine: Significant changes in eating, sleeping, or self-care habits, particularly neglecting personal appearance.

You can learn more about supporting someone with suicidal thoughts, feelings, or behaviours by clicking here.

• Let the other person know it’s okay to take their time: For example, you can say, ‘I understand if you’re not ready to talk yet. I’m here whenever you feel ready.’
• Keep it casual and open-ended: You can say things like, ‘No pressure, but if you ever want to chat, I’m just a message away.’
• Remind them they’re not alone: ‘I care about you and I want you to know you don’t have to go through this by yourself.’

Continue checking in casually without pressuring the other person.

• Remind them your offer of support still stands: You can text or say things like, ‘Hey, just wanted to see how you’re doing.’
• Stay consistent: Showing up for them in small ways, like hanging out or sending a message, can keep the connection alive and lets the other person know you’re someone they can turn to.
• Suggest alternatives: If talking feels too hard, suggest alternatives like writing their thoughts down, sending a message, or doing a meaningful activity together.

It’s not easy to wait when someone you care about is hurting, but being patient can make all the difference. It can take time for the other person to feel comfortable enough to open up and that’s okay.

It’s natural to feel frustrated or helpless but remember their pace isn’t a reflection of your care or effort. Patience is hard, but it’s also one of the most compassionate things you can offer.

Signs in kids

• Clinginess or fearfulness: Younger children might stick closer to parents or show new fears, like being scared to sleep alone
• Physical symptoms: Recurring stomach aches, headaches, or other unexplained pains can signal emotional distress
• Changes in behaviour: Outbursts, tantrums, or trouble concentrating may indicate they’re feeling overwhelmed
• Regressing to earlier behaviours: Behaviours like bedwetting or thumb-sucking may reappear during stressful times
• Loss of interest: Kids might stop wanting to play with friends or take part in activities they usually enjoy.

Signs in teens

• Mood swings or irritability: Stress or anxiety may show up as frustration or anger that feels out of character
• Social withdrawal: Spending more time alone or avoiding family and friends can be a sign they’re struggling
• Changes in sleep or eating habits: Sleeping too much or too little, or experiencing shifts in appetite, can indicate emotional distress
• Risky behaviours: Teens may cope with their feelings by experimenting with alcohol, drugs, or other unsafe activities
• Perfectionism or overworking: A strong focus on avoiding failure or overachieving might mask deeper worries.

It’s important to remember that these behaviours are often ways of expressing internal struggles. If you’re noticing these signs, it’s worth reaching out and offering your support.