"I dialed 13 11 14...A lovely woman picked up, I said 'I don't really know why I called', and she said 'that's alright Ben, that's normally how the conversation begins'...
That woman, God bless her, whoever she is, set into course a chain of events that ended up saving my life. That's why I'm here today."
Practical ways to cope in the moment
When we’re overwhelmed, the part of our brain that helps us think clearly and make decisions (the prefrontal cortex) can go offline. That’s why even simple things can feel hard.
Gentle activities that focus on your body or senses can help ground you, ease the intensity of your thoughts and give your brain a chance to reset. Here are a few ideas to try:
When you're having suicidal thoughts or urges, try telling yourself: ‘I don’t have to act on this right now.’
Start by waiting 10 minutes to see if the feeling passes. If the urge is still there, try to wait another 10 minutes. Keep going, one small window at a time.
Some people find it helpful to set a longer pause like the three-day rule. If you feel convinced that suicide is the only option, commit to waiting three days. And if, during that time, you have even a flicker of doubt or hope, reset the clock. That pause can help you find another way through.
These urges often come in waves and they usually lose intensity with time. While you wait, you might discover something that helps, or simply give your body and mind a chance to settle.
When the urge to act on suicidal thoughts comes up, try to redirect your energy into something else, even just for a few minutes. This can give your mind a break and help ease the intensity of the moment.
You might try:
• Watching a comforting TV show or listening to a familiar podcast
• Going for a walk or spending time with a pet
• Doing something with your hands, like sketching, gardening, knitting or tidying up
• You don’t have to ‘fix’ anything in that moment. The goal is simply to shift the intensity, even just a little.
Sometimes, doing something can help you ride out the wave until it passes.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed or at risk, connecting with another person can make a huge difference, even if you’re not sure what to say. You might choose to talk to:
- a trusted friend or family member
- a colleague, teacher or community leader
- a trained crisis supporter or counsellor
You don’t need to have the right words. You could start with: ‘I’m going through a rough time and just need someone to talk to.’
Learn more tips for talking to someone you trust here.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, panicked or disconnected, grounding techniques can help you feel more present and in control.
Simple practices like box breathing or the 5 senses technique work by reconnecting your body and mind, helping to calm your nervous system. They don’t make problems disappear, but they can ease the intensity and create a moment of pause. And in that pause, you may find the space you need to get through.
Learn more about finding relief through grounding techniques here.
Learn about suicidal feelings
What you're feeling right now isn't forever. Learn more and find support that's right for you in our Support Toolkit.
