Welcome to Holding onto Hope, a series that shares the stories of everyday Australians that have experienced moments in crisis and found a path to support, whilst all of the stories shared offer hope and inspiration.
At times you may hear something you find triggering. If you or someone you know needs crisis support, please phone Lifeline on 13 11 14, text 0477 13 11 14, or visit lifeline.org.au for Lifeline Chat service which is 24/7.
Hi, I'm Carla, and welcome to this episode of Holding on to Hope. From a young age, Nathida struggled to find where she belonged, moving to Australia from Thailand. As a child she faced cultural challenges, and without knowing she was autistic, felt isolated and misunderstood. With mental health a taboo topic in her culture, Nathida battled suicidal thoughts alone until she reached out to Lifeline. That call became a turning point, offering her the support she needed.
Nathida is also part of the Inside Our Minds project. Each year, this initiative works with young people from traditionally underrepresented communities. In 2024, the project spotlighted seven courageous young people navigating mental health challenges and disability, and Nathida's story is one of them. Now diagnosed and better supported, Nathida manages her mental health with self-care, a strong support network, and she's here to share her journey from struggle to hope. So thanks so much for joining us, Nathida, and being part of this Holding on to Hope series. It's so good to have you here.
Thank you for having me. This is a great opportunity.
We really want to showcase lots of people's different stories, and I think your story has some really interesting and important elements to showcase. So I wanted to start off by asking you if you wanted to share what it was like growing up between two cultures and how that shaped your sense of identity.
Navigating two cultures while still forming my own sense of identity and also forming my social relationships was quite difficult because I was always in a state of confusion. Which culture am I? Was I Australian, or was I Thai? Because I didn't neatly fit into either. Whenever I would hang out with my friends at school, they would say, "Oh yes, but you are Thai," and I was never really fully Australian. But when I would go back to Thailand, my family would refer to me as Australian because I wasn't growing up in Thailand, and my Thai has a little bit of an accent.
So it was definitely really confusing. But also, as I grew older, I learned to appreciate both, and I learned to incorporate the strengths of both. And, you know, it's an advantage, really, to have two cultures in your identity, because it helps you to see things from a wider perspective.
And of course, there's other elements of your identity as well. You've had an autism diagnosis not too long ago. So I wanted to ask, before that diagnosis, how did that feeling of difference impact your mental health?
I think the impact that being undiagnosed had on my mental health was quite detrimental in my developing years, because I always felt like I didn't belong. At first I just thought it's because I am from overseas, I wasn't born in Australia, I look a little bit different. But putting all of that aside, I just knew somewhere deep down that I was a little bit different — the way I function, the way I thought, the way I dealt with things.
So I ended up being like a chameleon. I was really confused as to who I really was, so I didn't develop a very strong sense of self until way later. I was making social mistakes that I didn't understand were mistakes, so my friends or those people that I was trying to fit in with would kind of ostracize me because I'd done something and I didn't know what it was, so I couldn't really fix it.
Growing up, I felt really lonely and really misunderstood.
You speak too about some dark moments, some really tough times in your life. What were they like, and how did you cope with them?
Um, I don't think I coped very well with them. Those dark moments definitely made me feel like I was alone, even when I was in a crowded room, even when I was at school surrounded by people. I felt like I was invisible, and I felt like I couldn't really speak up about what I was going through, especially at home. If I'd shown any signs of low moods, I would be told that I was being ungrateful and that I had it so good compared to kids in Thailand — that I should be more appreciative, I should be happy.
So I felt like I didn't have the right to be feeling what I was feeling, and I kind of just suppressed my feelings really, and didn't really cope with it, didn't really acknowledge what I was feeling, trying to brush it under the rug.
You made the decision to call Lifeline to talk through those things. What was that experience like for you? And how did you find Lifeline?
So I decided to call Lifeline when I was really, really hopeless. I just really needed to let it out — let what I was feeling out, let somebody know what I was feeling, instead of just keeping it bottled up inside. Having somebody there to listen to me was really good in the sense that it made me feel like I was valid in what I was feeling. It also grounded me as well, because I was just up in my head at that time, and I didn't have a sense of reality with how much I was ruminating.
Yeah, so having that person on the other side was really great for bringing me back down.
It sounds like that conversation was helpful in reframing some of your perspectives on your experience. Do you want to talk a little bit more about that?
It was helpful for me to kind of see things in a way that I was not the center of it — de-centering myself. Because I think, not only as a young person, but as a person who is prone to overthinking and prone to just getting lost in my own thoughts and spiraling, I tended to kind of just focus on what was going wrong with me.
You know, "I'm not doing this, I'm feeling this," and having somebody else to kind of draw me out of that whirlwind of thoughts was really helpful. It just reminded me that it's not as big as I am making it out to be — my feelings are totally valid, and what I'm going through is serious, but there is a whole world outside of my thoughts.
What might have helped you find a pathway earlier?
I think probably if somebody had reached out. I guess nobody really noticed that I wasn't in the greatest mental state, and all my teachers were still kind of seeing this girl that just pays attention in class. Sometimes she loses focus, but then she comes back on track. So I don't think there were any alarm bells going off for them.
With my friends as well, I was pretty good at going to school, and we'd laugh together, we'd do our regular things — but then I'd go home and feel drained. I feel like nobody really knew how I was feeling. So I think maybe if somebody had just asked me, "Hey, how are you doing?" Or if my teachers had come up and, instead of saying they were disappointed that my grades were slipping, had said, "I noticed you're skipping a couple days of school" or "I noticed you didn’t do as well in your test as you normally do, what's going on?" — that could have helped me to feel more comfortable reaching out for their help.
I guess when no one's asking you, "Are you okay?" it's sending the signal that no one sees anything different — it must be me, it's all me.
Yeah.
That sense of isolation growing, making it harder to reach out. And layering onto that is receiving a diagnosis of autism at 23. What did that mean for you? How did it change your approach to mental health and looking after yourself?
Receiving the diagnosis felt like a big burden had been lifted off my shoulders, because I finally had an explanation as to why I felt so different and why I found it so hard to fit in. It helped me to gain an understanding of the things that would work for me and why traditional methods of coping might not work for me.
After having that diagnosis, I was able to receive the proper, appropriate support that I needed from my psychologist. Now he knew I wasn’t responding to previous treatment because I needed something else. I was able to get accommodations at uni because I had that on paper. Yeah, so it was really great.
So what does work for you? What are your strategies to keep on top of your feelings and thoughts?
Emotional regulation has been something that I'm still learning. It was very hard for me, up until very recently, to identify what I was feeling — and when you can't identify what you're feeling, you can't manage it.
What has been really helpful, working with my OT and my psych, was just sitting in the feeling and trying to identify what I was feeling, and then branching off from there. If I was feeling under-stimulated and therefore lethargic, what can I do to increase that external stimuli so I can get my energy up? If I was feeling anxious and jittery, I'd try to think, "Okay, what might be contributing to me feeling this way?"
If it's something external, like a presentation I have to do, then I would do mindfulness activities to manage that, or visualization to prepare myself. If it's something internal, like overthinking, then I would stop what I was doing, get out my colouring book, and take my mind off it.
So yeah, it really helps to be aware of what you're feeling.
You talked about a really clear approach to managing your mental health right now. Was it always like that? Were there some trial and error moments in finding what works for you?
I was not always like that, and to be completely honest, I still am learning. I don't always go straight to my self-care strategies when I'm feeling overwhelmed. There are still times when, if I'm feeling overwhelmed or a little bit down, I go straight to doom scrolling.
It does take a lot of conscious practice. Reaching out to healthcare professionals has also helped me. At first it was very inaccessible — the costs, the wait times — but having the initial appointment to say, "This is what I'm experiencing," and then getting recommendations like "Try this" really widened my self-care strategies.
Not every strategy worked. They recommended meditation, but I can't sit still for longer than a minute, so that didn't work for me, and I felt frustrated at myself for not being able to do it. So I think there will always be strategies that don’t work for you, but it's all about trying new things.
I gave meditation a go and found it didn’t work. I tried yoga and liked it, but it didn’t help me calm down. So definitely a lot of trial and error — you have to give everything a go and see what you like, and what makes you feel better.
Something that helped me trial and error effectively was writing down how I was feeling before and after the strategy. If I wanted to take it to my psych or OT, I could say, "I gave this a go and this is how it went," and get external advice. Having something concrete to look back on was really helpful.
We hope you're enjoying this episode. Lifeline's new Support Toolkit makes it easier to care for family, friends and loved ones — and look after yourself along the way. Visit us at toolkit.lifeline.org.au.
Now back to the episode.
What about the power of connection and finding like-minded people? What's that meant for you?
I think it's the most vital thing to thriving and to being able to enjoy your life. Connection has been a pivotal point for me in not only improving my quality of life, but also helping me to gain the courage to speak up about what I was feeling, and letting go of the shame I used to associate with my mental health episodes.
Finding people who are going through similar experiences, who really know what it feels like to be in your shoes, helps you put into perspective that you're not being ungrateful, you are valid in your feelings, and there are many others feeling the same things. It also helps give you hope — because when you see others thriving after going through the same things as you, it gives you hope that you can thrive too.
Being an advocate sounds like it's part of the way that you're managing aspects of your experience too. Do you want to say a bit more about that?
Yeah, definitely. I think the most important thing I have come to realise is that I have my experiences, and I can either choose to keep them to myself — and that's fine — or I can share them to bring awareness so others can benefit.
I think that is what led me to be so strong in my advocacy: at the end of the day, I want to give people the sense of hope I gained from hearing other people's stories. I want to let people know they’re not alone. Because I felt so alone when I was younger, going through mental health challenges, and that was a horrible feeling. If I can help people not feel that way, that would be amazing.
So I wanted to ask you — what message would you like to share with people who are listening, who might be struggling, feeling isolated, or struggling with their mental health?
What I would want to say, and this is what I would have wanted to hear when I was younger, is no matter how alone you're feeling, you're not alone. Maybe in that instance you aren't surrounded by people, you feel like you have nobody to turn to — but in my experience, you will find your group, you will find people who care about you.
There is always somebody you can reach out to, like Lifeline, that will be there to immediately comfort you and help you pause when your thoughts are spiralling.
What are the top self-care practices that help you stay grounded?
My number one self-care practice is taking a break and saying no. It's really important, because I am somewhat of a people pleaser. If my friends want to call me because they want someone to talk to, I won't say no — even though I hate phone calls.
Learning to say no, and being okay with the discomfort of saying no, has been the most important part of reserving my energy. Once I have that energy, I can think about how to take care of myself.
That leads me to the next step, which is finding out what works for you. For me, with autism, a lot of my overwhelming feelings come from stimulation — being over-stimulated or under-stimulated. Being able to recognise when I’m over-stimulated, and dealing with it accordingly, is key. If I’m getting too much sensory input, I put on my headphones and chill out, or go to my room and light a candle.
The third thing is mindfulness activities. I have a colouring book I really like. Sometimes I build Lego. Sometimes I people-watch. That might sound creepy, but it’s a great pastime — it takes you out of your own head for a second. Whether colouring, building, or observing others, I’m not thinking about myself, and that pause is really helpful.
So Nathida, we've covered so much ground. What's next for you? What's on your plate?
Well, I definitely want to finish off my degree. I’m doing a bachelor's in psychology at the moment, so I’m thinking of going into research. I’m not sure which area yet, but I want to make my impact — possibly researching autism to diversify our understanding of it, because our current understanding is very limited.
In the meantime, while I’m finishing my degree, I’m still looking for opportunities to share my story, continue speaking up about my experiences so that others can feel heard and seen. I’ve been doing a couple of radio appearances — one of my friends has a show on a community radio station — and I’m finding new ways to get involved at a more legislative and government level, so I can put forward the experiences and concerns not only of myself but of others.
I mean, that’s such a fantastic vision. You’re talking about advocacy at an individual level when you’re talking to healthcare providers, through research, and at the highest levels of legislation and government. That’s a big mission, and I’m sure we all wish you the best of luck. You’ve been such an amazing guest today, and there’s a big world out there for you to conquer.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for listening to Holding on to Hope, the podcast. Lifeline is grateful to all Holding on to Hope participants for choosing to share their personal lived experiences openly and courageously in order to offer hope and inspiration to others. Your act of kindness makes for a better world.
And remember, you can call Lifeline at any time on 13 11 14.