Support Toolkit

Trauma

Learn what trauma is, how it can affect your thoughts and feelings, and the steps you can take to understand your experience and explore support.

Understanding trauma

Trauma is an emotional response to extremely distressing experiences, which overwhelm our ability to cope.

Traumatic experiences threaten our sense of safety and can leave us feeling helpless, exposed and vulnerable.

They can be sudden, out of the blue things that happen to us, like an accident or assault, or they can be ongoing experiences, like growing up in an abusive household.

Everyone has a different reaction to trauma, meaning two people can go through the same experience, yet be affected very differently.

Strong emotions such as fear, anger, guilt and sadness are normal, and usually begin to subside with time as we begin to make sense of what happened. However for some of us, trauma can lead to mental health issues such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety or substance misuse.

Our in-the-moment reaction to traumatic experiences happen automatically, and largely out of our control. Our bodies have evolved these reactions to keep us safe from danger in the moment. So no matter what happened, it’s important to remember that you did what you could to survive and cope in the moment.

How common is trauma?

If you’ve experienced trauma, you’re not alone. Most people in Australia will experience a traumatic event at some point in their lives.

While not everyone will experience ongoing mental health issues as a result of traumatic experiences, PTSD will affect around 3 million Australians at some point in their lives.

Some groups of people are more likely to be exposed to trauma, including people experiencing homelessness, domestic and family violence, LGBTQIA+ people, refugees, veterans and those employed in occupations such as emergency services and the armed forces.

According to a 2008 study, women also experience trauma at approximately twice the rate of men.

Types of trauma

There are many different experiences that can cause trauma and people can also respond to those experiences differently. Understanding the effects of trauma can help you start to make sense of your experience, how it has affected you, and what the best next steps are for you.

Below we’ll cover some different ways trauma can be experienced. However trauma doesn’t always fall into neat categories. Remember that:

  • Trauma is personal - if you feel the effects of trauma, then it is trauma
  • Trauma can affect you even if you don’t remember the event or experience
  • The effects of specific experiences will be different for everyone - what is traumatic for one person might not be for someone else
  • The more traumatic events you’re exposed to, the greater the risk they will have a significant effect on you
  • You may not have a response to traumatic events until many years after you experienced them.

Acute trauma is a response to an extremely frightening, stressful or overwhelming event. Your body’s natural reaction can get ‘stuck’ in your threat response, leaving lingering effects that stay with you after the event.

Some examples of events that can cause acute trauma include:

If the effects of acute trauma last for longer than a month, this may be a sign of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is when you experience intrusive or negative effects related to a traumatic event long after the event has passed.

These effects are so intense that they interfere with your ability to function normally in your everyday life. They can include involuntary and distressing memories, flashbacks or nightmares, avoiding everyday things related to your experience, or significant changes to your mood.

Chronic trauma is caused by experiencing multiple traumatic events, usually over a long period of time. It can be in response to a number of similar events, or separate and unrelated traumatic experiences.

Here are some examples:

Complex trauma occurs as a result of extended or ongoing traumatic events perpetrated by someone you trust. It can therefore lead to feelings of being trapped or betrayed, and can affect your ability to manage emotions and maintain relationships.

Complex trauma generally happens in childhood as the result of abuse or neglect by a loved one, but can also occur as a result of experiences as an adult.

Vicarious trauma refers to the way in which you can be negatively affected by indirect exposure to traumatic events, such as hearing stories or seeing photos or videos. Close friends and family members of someone who has been through trauma can experience similar symptoms of trauma after learning about what happened.

Vicarious trauma can also affect people who work closely with trauma victims, such as therapists, social workers, judges, criminal investigators, and healthcare professionals.

If survivors of trauma don’t have the opportunity to heal from their experiences, this can lead to intergenerational trauma.

This is when the ongoing effects of trauma on parents are unknowingly passed-on to their children, through no fault of their own. Children may experience high levels of stress, challenges forming relationships, and disconnection from family and culture.

In Australia, intergenerational trauma is more likely to be experienced by the descendents of the Stolen Generations, or refugees and other immigrant groups who experienced trauma overseas.

Intergenerational trauma can affect entire communities as well as individuals. Getting help to understand and process traumatic experiences can lessen the effects of intergenerational trauma on the next generation.

While trauma can feel utterly overwhelming and make it hard to see a brighter future ahead, remember that there are effective treatments for the short-term effects, long-term strategies, tools and apps that can help treat the symptoms, and a range of services that are here to help.

What can trauma look and feel like?

The effects of trauma can vary dramatically. Different people can experience very different effects from the same traumatic event, so there’s no single answer to how trauma might impact you.

It’s also important to know:

  • Trauma can affect you even if you don’t remember the event or experience
  • The effects of specific experiences will be different for everyone - what is traumatic for one person might not be for someone else
  • The more traumatic events you’re exposed to, the greater the risk they will have a significant effect on you
  • You may not have a response to traumatic events until many years after you experienced them.

Trauma can have really serious and significant impacts on you and your ability to live a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Trauma can affect:

  • How you feel and think
  • Your beliefs and understanding of the world
  • Your behaviour
  • Your relationships
  • Your physical body.

Watch this video to understand more about trauma and its effects.

The immediate effects of a traumatic event

When you go through something extremely stressful or dangerous, your body kicks-in with instinctive reactions designed to help you cope and survive. We’ve developed these reactions through evolution over millions of years, meaning they’re mostly out of our control.

After experiencing a traumatic event, it’s normal and natural to respond by:

  • Feeling confused, angry, sad, anxious, and agitated
  • Feeling guilt or shame, or thinking it was your fault
  • Being hyper-aware of your surroundings and on high-alert for danger
  • Feeling emotionally numb and disconnecting from painful thoughts, feelings and memories related to the traumatic event.

Fight, flight, freeze and fawn describe four different ways in which we might respond when faced with a threat. They are all natural strategies we’ve evolved to stay safe in the face of danger.

Below are some examples of how each of these responses can keep us safe.

  • Fight: when we respond to a threat aggressively to try and overpower it. It could look like fighting back if someone physically assaults you.
  • Flight: when we attempt to escape the threat to find safety. It could look like running away when someone is trying to rob you.
  • Freeze: When we are unable to move or act against a threat because we think we won't be able to overcome or escape it. It could look like feeling frozen on the spot if you see a snake.
  • Fawn: when a person attempts to please, and pacify the other person in a situation by doing what is asked to avoid further danger. It could look like doing what you’re told if you’re threatened.

It’s important to remember these responses are automatic, happen without our choice, and aren’t our fault. They are there to help us cope and survive in overwhelming situations.

However, one of the effects of ongoing trauma can be that we continue to use these responses in situations that aren’t actually threatening or dangerous.

For example:

  • We might respond with a ‘fight’ response and get really angry if someone cuts us off in traffic.
  • We might find ourselves always saying ‘yes’ to others, even when we don’t want to. This is an example of a ‘fawn’ response.

Continuing to respond to everyday situations with these behaviours can end up causing us real problems, and may be a sign of post-traumatic stress disorder(PTSD). Long-term strategies are available to help manage these reactions.

Dissociation

One of the ways our brains can try to protect us under extreme stress, is to essentially ‘switch off’, and pretend as though the experience isn’t happening at all. This is called ‘dissociation’, and happens when we simply can’t process what’s going on.

For example, a child being abused by a family member may experience it as though it’s not real, or from a ‘third-person’ perspective, as if watching a movie. They might be unable to remember or relate to the experience when asked.

Dissociation protects us and helps us survive when we have no other choice and can be a helpful coping mechanism. But it can also prevent us from dealing with the ongoing effects of trauma later on, or cause us to continue to dissociate in other unrelated situations.

Long-term effects

How trauma affects our thoughts and feelings

Trauma can:

  • Affect our memories of the event, either causing repetitive intrusive thoughts, or cause us to not consciously remember what happened
  • Cause flashbacks of the traumatic event that can make us feel as though we are reliving what we went through
  • Cause nightmares about the traumatic event
  • Cause us to deny the traumatic event or our response to it
  • Make us sensitive to reminders of the traumatic event. For example, if a victim of domestic and family violence watched a news story about domestic violence it could trigger unwanted memories of their own experience.
  • Cause difficulties concentrating, remembering things, and making decisions
  • Cause feelings of hopelessness about the future
  • Lead to difficulties experiencing positive emotions
  • Make us prone to anxiety
  • Cause us to re-experience the emotions of the traumatic event, such as sadness, anger, fear, helplessness, aggression or numbness
  • Cause us to experience an overwhelming sense of guilt or shame
  • Cause thoughts of suicide or self-harm.

Now I realise how much my past traumas have impacted me and still do. How some of my thought processes and fears actually come from my past and are not presently happening.

If you’re feeling suicidal, please reach out to Lifeline for support. We understand what it’s like to have thoughts about ending your life. We’re here to listen and help you.

Trauma can affect our beliefs about ourselves and the world

Traumatic experiences are shocking and unexpected. As a result, it can be hard to make sense of them, and fit them into how you understand the world. You might find yourself changing the way you think about yourself, others, and the world around you.

You might find yourself:

  • Thinking that you are different, damaged, helpless, or not good enough
  • Thinking that you or others can’t be trusted
  • Believing people are fundamentally bad
  • Believing the world is a dangerous and unsafe place
  • Feeling like you need to be in control at all times
  • Being fearful of speaking up for yourself or not valuing your own opinion.

You might also find yourself thinking:

  • “I am helpless”
  • “I can’t connect with anyone. No one understands what I have been through.”
  • “Nobody will accept me when they find out what I’ve been through.”
  • “I must never allow anyone to get too close to me.”
  • “I’ll never be the same”

Some of these reactions can be our mind’s way of trying to protect us in the future, and are common reactions to traumatic experiences. It can take time and support to start to recover self-confidence, and re-develop trust in other people, and that’s ok.

How trauma can affect our behaviour

The effects of trauma have been proven to physically change our brains and bodies. The way we think, feel and act can be changed significantly, which means we might find ourselves:

  • Avoiding places, people, and things that remind us of the traumatic event
  • Constantly being on the lookout for danger
  • Engaging in self-destructive behaviours in order to help cope with, or avoid our emotions or memories. This could look like using drugs or alcohol, self-harm, overeating, overworking, gambling, or other addictive behaviours
  • Socially isolating or withdrawing
  • Having difficulties trusting other people and forming or maintaining relationships
  • Lashing out or overreacting to events, people and situations that previously wouldn’t have troubled us
  • Experiencing similar reactions (ie fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses) to other, less significant situations in the future.

How trauma can affect us physically

Trauma can also have physical effects, such as

  • Jumpiness and being easily startled
  • Sleep problems, including both insomnia or excessive sleeping
  • Muscle tension, fatigue, nausea, headaches and increased heart rate.
  • Physical exhaustion.

Being triggered in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is something else. It's not a memory, you're there. You're physically there and your body is reacting as such.

Chris

Practical things you can do to feel better in the moment

Immediately after the event

If you or someone you know has just experienced a traumatic event, there are some immediate steps you can take:

  • In cases of physical or sexual assault and other injuries, you can contact emergency services on 000.
  • To report a crime, you can call or visit your local police station.
  • Reach out to a close friend or relative for support. Sometimes it can be hard to tell someone else about your experience. If it feels safer and more comfortable, you can always contact Lifeline.

It’s normal to feel anger, guilt, shame, anxiety or numbness, but remember everyone responds to traumatic experiences differently, and there is no right or wrong reaction. It may be helpful to learn more about the common effects of trauma here.

Healing can take time and support, but many people start to feel better after about a month. If your symptoms get worse or last longer, you may want to consider seeking additional support.

For specific symptoms

Trauma can show up in different ways for different people. Depending on what symptoms you experience, there are a variety of strategies you can use to help you cope in the moment. There are also ways you can manage trauma in the long term on the following page.

For now, here are some strategies that can give you relief in the moment.

It’s normal to feel a range of emotions after going through something traumatic. Most of the time, the emotions you feel will be the result of your nervous system being on overdrive.

Here are a few things you can try right now:

  • Freewriting: This is where you set a timer for yourself and you simply write whatever comes to your mind. Set a time limit that works for you, whether 5, 10, 15 minutes or more. Try not to censor anything, just write what comes up for you. When you’re done writing, read the entry back to yourself and see if there’s anything that stands out to you. The act of writing out your thoughts alone can be enough to clear and calm your mind when it is overactive. Research has shown simply naming the emotions you’re feeling can significantly reduce their power over you.
  • Progressive muscle relaxation: This is a relaxation strategy that helps reduce anxiety and promotes calmness. It’s quite easy to practice progressive muscle relaxation — all you need to start is a quiet space, free from any distractions. Then, either sitting or lying down, you will tense and relax different muscle groups, starting from your feet and ending at your head. Here are some guidelines you can follow:
    • To begin with, focus on your feet. Inhale deeply and contract your feet for 5 to 10 seconds. Then, exhale for another 5 to 10 seconds and release any tension in your feet.
    • Next, move on to your calves. Again, inhale deeply and contract your calf muscles for 5 to 10 seconds. Then, exhale for another 5 to 10 seconds releasing any tension in your calves.
    • Repeat this with every muscle group in your body as you move up toward your head. When you release the tension from your muscles, try to focus on how your muscles feel when they’re relaxed. You can also imagine any stress and anxiety leaving your body as you relax your muscles.
  • Visualisation: Imagining somewhere peaceful can help ease anxious thoughts and feelings. That’s because when we visualise, our brains process what we imagine in much the same way they would if we were really there. Just imagining being someplace calm and serene can help you feel that way. The next time you’re feeling anxious, close your eyes and try to imagine you’re somewhere safe and peaceful.
  • Listen to a soothing playlist: Research shows that listening to music can help calm the nervous system and lower stress levels. You can create your own playlist that you can put on when you’re feeling tense to help you relax. If you’re not sure what music to choose, classical and jazz music tend to have a soothing effect.
  • Do something relaxing: Write out a list of things that help you relax and use them when you’re feeling especially anxious. It could include things like taking a warm bubble bath, reading your favourite author, sitting in the park, or doing yoga.
  • Try mindful eating or drinking: For example, make a hot beverage, such as a herbal tea. With each sip, focus on something different you can sense, whether it’s the taste, smell, colour of the tea, weight of the cup, or reflections of light on the surface.
  • Practise self-care: When practising self-care, it can feel comforting to have easy access to all of your favourite things. Making a self-care box is a bit like preparing a first-aid kit for your mental health. It doesn’t have to be physical either – you might like to just write a list that reminds you of your favourite things.
  • Box breathing: Box breathing is a grounding technique that can help you regain a sense of calm in the present moment. Watch the video below to try it now.

It’s common for your mind to wander back to memories of a traumatic event, even if you try to block it out. When you think about the trauma you experienced, it can feel like you’re reliving the experience all over again. Your brain can find it hard to separate the past from the present and this can make you feel unsafe, uneasy, and panicked.

To bring yourself back to the present, you can try a technique called grounding. Grounding means doing things that help bring your mind back to the here and now. As you bring your focus back to the present, your brain registers that you are safe and secure and your anxiety fades.

Here are some ways that you can ground yourself when you start re-experiencing trauma:

  • Use your senses to tune into your surroundings: Try to identify 5 things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
  • Comfort yourself with something that feels familiar, safe and comforting, such as a favourite blanket, a pet or music.

After experiencing a traumatic event, you may be more prone to having panic attacks. They could happen out of nowhere, or they could happen when you feel you are re-experiencing the trauma through flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive thoughts.

A panic attack can feel terrifying: the physical sensations can be so intense that it feels like you’re going to pass out or have a heart attack.

If you’re in a busy area when a panic attack strikes, it’s best to try to move to a quiet area.

There are two strategies that work well for helping you feel better when you’re in a state of panic:

  • One way is to use grounding, which is where you try to identify things in your immediate environment that you can either see, taste, touch, feel, or hear. Alternatively, you can focus on just one object and describe it in as much detail as possible.
  • A second way is to try breathing more deeply and slowly until your breathing returns to normal. It can help to close your eyes and to count as you inhale and exhale. Count to 5 as you breathe in and count to 5 again as you breathe out.

Dissociation or zoning out can happen during a traumatic event as a way to help you cope with what’s happening to you. Although dissociation can help you cope in the moment, you may tend to dissociate or zone out in your everyday life after the trauma has passed. It can become your default way of coping with situations that remind you of the trauma — whether you realise it consciously or not.

Because dissociation is about disconnecting from yourself and the world around you, the way to stop it is to bring yourself back to the present. A good way to do this is by activating your senses. For example, you could:

  • Splash cold water on your face
  • Clap your hands together and feel the sting
  • Take a hot or cold shower
  • Drink a glass of ice cold water
  • Smell something strongly scented, such as vinegar
  • Walk barefoot on grass
  • Touch something with an interesting texture.

Sometimes the aftermath of trauma can leave you with such intense emotions that you don’t know how to cope, or don’t believe you can. You may get the urge to harm yourself to relieve some of the pain you’re feeling. The pain may even feel so bad that you consider ending your life.

Although it can be challenging to hold on to hope in the midst of overwhelming emotions, it is possible to heal and feel like yourself again with time and the right support.

Here’s what you can do if you’re thinking about self-harm or suicide:

  • Talk to someone you trust. If you feel comfortable talking to someone you know, try opening up to a close friend or relative about how you’re feeling. Talking to someone you trust can help you process your emotions and bring you comfort.
  • Delay the urge to self-harm. When you feel the urge to harm yourself, tell yourself that you’ll wait 10 minutes to see if the urge passes. If after 10 minutes, you still feel the urge to harm yourself, try to wait for another 10 minutes, and so on. When you delay the urge to self-harm, the urge may become less intense with time. You may even find another way to cope while you wait for the time to pass.
  • Distract yourself from the urge to self-harm. When the urge to self-harm comes up, try to do something else instead. Do something that will keep you occupied, such as going for a walk, playing with a pet, or cleaning your home.
  • Divert the urge to self-harm. When you get the urge to self-harm, replace it with something that will allow you to release your emotions in a less harmful way. For example, you could hold an ice cube, have a freezing cold shower, eat something with a strong taste such as chilli or vegemite, or clap your hands vigorously.
  • Contact Lifeline. Lifeline is available 24/7 to help people in emotional crisis. When you call Lifeline, you’ll be connected to a compassionate crisis supporter who will listen to you for as long as you need. You can stay anonymous and everything you share will be treated confidentially.
Techniques & Guides

Finding relief through grounding techniques

When feeling overwhelmed, grounding techniques can be a practical yet powerful way to feel calm and regain control. Learn how they can help you.
Read time icon 11 minutes read
Helps with Anxiety Stress

Tips for looking after yourself after a traumatic event

Practicing self-care is important for maintaining your mental health after experiencing something traumatic.

Here are some ways that you can look after yourself:

After experiencing something traumatic, it’s common to feel guilt and shame or question whether you could have done something differently. Although these reactions are normal, they are not helpful.

Blaming yourself for what happened is your mind’s way of trying to make sense of something terrible that shouldn’t have happened. Remember, you did what you had to in order to cope and stay safe.

If you’ve recently been through a traumatic experience, then your normal routine has probably been interrupted in some way. You might be finding it hard to find the energy to keep to your normal schedule and commitments.

It’s important to listen to your body and not push yourself if you’re not feeling up to it, however having a consistent routine can provide a sense of normality, comfort and security.

You might want to consider keeping to a regular rhythm including self-care activities such as:

  • Exercise
  • Relaxation time
  • Your hobbies
  • Seeing friends and family.

Although you may feel like withdrawing from others, talking to friends or family you trust about how you’re feeling can help you make sense of your experience. Getting support from a mental health professional can also help. You can learn tips for talking to someone you trust or view a range of available support services here.

Practising self-care and engaging in the activities you enjoy is an important way we take care of our emotional wellbeing.

Even if you lack motivation, make time to do activities that you enjoy and remind yourself that your traumatic experience doesn’t have to define who you are.

Techniques & Guides

Self-care for mental health and wellbeing

Self-care is a key way we protect our mental health and improve our wellbeing. In this article, we explain what exactly self-care is and why it's so beneficial during challenging times. You'll also find easy self-care ideas you can try right now or down the track.
Read time icon 10 minutes read
Helps with Stress Depression

Your mind may be consumed by fears and concerns about the past and future. Focusing on what you cannot control can leave you feeling powerless and helpless. It’s more helpful to focus on the things you can control as this will give you a sense of empowerment.

Examples of things you can control include:

  • Eating healthily
  • Staying active
  • Getting enough sleep
  • Keeping to a routine
  • Getting professional support.

Research shows that what we eat and drink can impact how we feel and how we cope with distressing feelings.

Here are some nutrition guidelines you can follow that can help you cope better:

  • Eat complex carbohydrates — these are digested more slowly which creates a calmer feeling. Complex carbs are things like fruit and vegetables, wholemeal bread and pasta, and beans.
  • Stay hydrated.
  • Limit or avoid alcohol. A drink might calm your nerves in the moment, but it can negatively impact your mood and sleep as your body processes it.
  • Limit or avoid caffeine and high-sugar foods. They can make you feel irritable, jittery or nervous.
  • Eat foods with omega-3, including avocado, tuna, salmon, and olive oil.

If you’re feeling anxious, it can often be helpful to avoid substances. Substances can significantly alter our physical state, emotions and thinking patterns, which can have big effects on our feelings of anxiety.

So try to reduce of avoid the following substances in particular:

  • Caffeine
  • Alcohol
  • Ecstasy
  • Meth/ice.

Long-term strategies for managing trauma

Coping with the long-term effects of traumatic experiences can be tough and exhausting, especially if you don’t know where to start or haven’t found something that works just yet.

There are a number of strategies that have been shown to work, though different things will work for different people. Try not to feel disheartened if something isn’t working for you - the courage to keep trying is what’s important.

It’s ok to ask for help too. Time and the right support can help you find ways to cope, create room for growth, and find hope.

First, here are some things that you can try on your own:

Things you can do on your own

After a traumatic event, you may be easily triggered by things that remind you of what you experienced. At first, these triggers can be overwhelming and they can interfere with your ability to function normally from one day to the next. For example, if you had a car accident, you may be triggered by hearing stories about car accidents in the news, or you may have difficulty getting back into a car. You could also be triggered by certain sights, smells, or sounds that remind you of what happened.

To minimise the impacts of your triggers, it can be helpful to recognise what they are, so that you can better understand how they affect you. You may want to keep a journal where you write about any intense, negative emotions you feel and what led up to them.

Over time, you may start to recognise a pattern of things that trigger you. Once you get a sense of what your triggers are, you can be more prepared for them. If you know what triggers you, then you can learn how to respond to them in more helpful ways in the future.

After experiencing trauma, you may feel unsafe in the world. It’s important that you have a safe space you can find respite whenever you need it.

That could be a room in your home that’s filled with your favourite things, or it could be a quiet park bench. What’s important is that it feels safe, peaceful, and comforting to be there.

It can be frustrating having to deal with the effects of trauma long after the event itself. You may tend to put a lot of pressure on yourself to feel normal again, and you may feel pressured by the people around you, too, especially if they don’t understand what you’re going through.

It’s important to remember that there is no typical timeline for healing from trauma. Everyone is different. It’s normal to have good and bad days and to take your time with the healing process.

Try not to compare yourself to others, or to feel pressure to heal according to other people’s timelines. Only you know what feels right for you, and the most important thing is to pay attention to those feelings to guide your next steps.

Seek external support

The ongoing effects of trauma can make it hard to feel comfortable asking for help. It might feel difficult to talk about your experience, people might not understand how it’s affecting you, and it can feel hard to trust people again.

The things that you're feeling, a lot of people are feeling right now. It's important that you recognise what you're going through is not a journey you have to do alone.

Chris

These are normal reactions, however, finding the courage to seek external support can often be the best way to cope with the effects of trauma and find a path to long term wellbeing. The support of others can help you:

  • Feel less alone
  • Find others who have had similar experience and learn from their journey
  • Learn new helpful techniques and strategies
  • Create a sense of meaning or purpose through helping others.

Watch this video that explains the importance of staying connected to people after a traumatic event and how to reach out for support.

There are a number of types of therapy that have proven helpful in treating the lasting effects of trauma.

When searching for mental health services, try to find out whether the service provider or individual therapist offers a ‘trauma-informed care’ approach.

A trauma-informed care approach is an approach to mental health that prioritises client safety, choice, collaboration, trust, and empowerment. In trauma-informed care, the mental health provider is aware that anyone they treat could have potentially experienced trauma. This awareness is used to guide and direct how therapy unfolds.

Below, we’ve outlined a few common options.

CBT is a form of talk therapy that can be used to learn skills that can help you manage thoughts, feelings, and behaviours rooted in past traumatic experiences.

  • EMDR can help you process your traumatic memories with less focus on talking about them.
  • In EMDR therapy, the therapist will guide you to move your eyes in a certain way while focusing on your trauma. This helps your brain reprocess your trauma.
  • Reprocessing your trauma using EMDR can help rewire and change the way the traumatic memory is stored in your brain. It helps your brain know the difference between the past and present.

  • Somatic therapy for trauma is based on research that shows that traumatic memories can be held in our body’s nervous system.
  • It is about helping you become more in tune with your body and how tension feels in your body. When you become more in tune with your body, you can learn how to relax your nervous system so that you feel calmer.
  • Somatic therapy helps to address the physical trauma symptoms such as difficulty sleeping, or flashbacks and intrusive thoughts.

The EMDR therapy has been very helpful to me. It has been a great help, not only in lessening the impact of my PTSD but also in becoming more self-aware.

Group therapy and support groups

Another option for treating trauma is to attend group therapy or join a support group. Group support for trauma has proven just as effective as one-on-one support.

There are many benefits to getting group support for trauma, such as:

  • It is often cheaper and therefore more accessible for many people
  • It provides a safe space to share your story and hear from others who have been through similar things. It helps build trust and connection with others.
  • It offers an opportunity to learn effective coping tools from people who have also experienced trauma
  • It can help you feel heard, supported and validated
  • Other group members can offer you encouragement and help you rebuild your self-esteem.

Group therapy and support groups are a bit different. Group therapy is led by a mental health professional and is considered a formal treatment option for trauma. Support groups, on the other hand, are usually peer-led, meaning you may want to consider using them in conjunction with professional help.

Group support can be extremely valuable for people struggling with all kinds of trauma. It’s important to think about your needs and what you’re most comfortable with. Some people may find it harder opening up in a group.

While you’ll never be forced to share anything you don’t want to share, sharing can help you heal.

Tools and apps to help manage feelings of trauma

Below you can find tools you can use to help you cope with trauma:

Tools & Apps

This Way Up

Offers free and paid self-paced online programs that teach practical ways to manage symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges.
Helps with Depression Anxiety
Tools & Apps

PTSD Program

Mental Health Online’s PTSD Program teaches you about post-traumatic stress disorder as well as skills and strategies you can use to manage it. It’s designed to help you feel better right now and in the long term.
Helps with Trauma
Tools & Apps

The Body Keeps the Score

The Body Keeps the Score is a book about what trauma is, how it impacts the body, what types of treatment options are available, as well as short and long-term strategies for coping and self-care. Available in paperback, audio, and e-book formats.
Helps with Trauma

Other tools and apps

Support and treatment options for trauma

Below you can find organisations that provide support and counselling for people who have experienced trauma:

Support Service

Blue Knot

Blue Knot provides short-term counselling and support for anyone affected by complex trauma and helps them to recover and build resilience.
Helps with Complex trauma Childhood abuse
Support Service

SANE

SANE is a national mental health organisation for people with complex mental health issues and for families and friends that support them. They provide a range of free telehealth and digital services. Dial 1800 187 263 to access their phone counselling.
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SANE's guided recovery service provides ongoing tailored support to people with complex mental health needs and their families and carers.
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Thirrili

Thirrili offers free, 24/7 culturally safe guidance and support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people impacted by suicide or an unexpected death.
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Open Arms

Open Arms offers free and confidential 24/7 crisis support and counselling for current and former ADF members and their families.
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Understanding trauma and how you can help

Did someone you care about experience something traumatic? Your support can play an important role in helping them cope and feel better.

You might feel stuck between wanting to help and not knowing how. You might be struggling to understand what they went through. Even if you don’t know where to start, or what will help, often simply being there for them can mean a great deal.

On this page you will find practical steps you can take to support someone who has experienced something traumatic.

Recognising the signs

Recognising trauma in someone you care about isn’t always easy, as everyone can experience different effects .

If you know the person well, it’s best to trust your gut as to whether they’re acting differently, or something has changed for them.

Someone affected by trauma may express the following:

  • Feeling emotionally numb
  • Feelings of guilt and shame
  • Feeling hopeless about the future
  • Feeling disconnected from others and the world around them
  • Feeling irritable, on-edge, or aggressive
  • Feeling anxious or scared.

They may show symptoms, such as:

  • Flashbacks or nightmares
  • Difficulties sleeping
  • Zoning out and having trouble concentrating
  • Being easily startled or frightened
  • Constant worry
  • Withdrawal from friends, family, and activities
  • Avoiding specific situations, things or people
  • Using drugs or alcohol more than usual
  • Signs of self-harm, such as unusual cuts, burns, or other injuries.

If you’re unsure how someone is coping following a traumatic event, it’s usually best to simply ask the person if you can help, in a non-confrontational and non-judgemental way. It can also help to learn more about trauma and its effects.

How to help

Often one of the most powerful things you can do for a friend or family member is to let them know that you’re there for them.

Knowing how and when to have this important conversation can be tricky.

Here are a few tips:

  • Try to create time for the conversation. This might mean suggesting a walk or other activity that gives you the time to talk, without distractions. It might mean waiting until the end of an event when you have time to yourselves.
  • Gently let them know that you care about them, and want to help.
  • Listen and be curious about their experience. Give them space to share if they choose to. You can ask open questions such as ‘how are you feeling?’ or ‘what’s going on for you at the moment?’
  • Sometimes it can help to open up about your own experiences, which can ‘give permission’ to your friend or family member to also share. Being vulnerable can be hard, but it’s easier if you’re both in the same boat.
  • Rather than jumping to solutions, it can be helpful to ask what they need from you at that moment. You might ask something like ‘would you like me to just listen right now, or would you like help thinking about what you might do from here?'
  • Try to resist the urge to paint a silver lining, or minimise their concerns. Instead, it can be helpful to validate their experience by saying things like ‘it sounds like you are going through a really tough time right now’ or ‘that must be so difficult for you’.

It can be really hard for people to open up after traumatic events, so don’t be disheartened or hurt if your friend or family member doesn’t want to talk about it just yet. Healing takes time, and everyone goes at their own pace.

You might like to gently let them know that you’re still there if they change their mind, or if there’s something you can do in the future.

Often, people who have experienced trauma may have flashbacks, nightmares or intrusive thoughts relating to the traumatic event. These are usually triggered by specific things in the environment. For example, the person may be triggered by hearing or seeing something that reminds them of what they experienced.

Asking your friend about their triggers can help you to avoid triggering them unintentionally, such as by bringing up a topic that makes them feel uncomfortable. It can also help you be better prepared if they experience a flashback, nightmare or intrusive thoughts.

When you notice that a friend or family member seems to be re-experiencing their trauma:

  • Remain as calm as possible and don’t make any quick or sudden movements
  • Remind them of where they are and that they are safe.
  • Help them by getting them to take some slow, deep breaths.
  • Ask them to describe things in the environment using their 5 senses.

You can read more about what can help with specific effects of trauma here.

It’s normal for people who are struggling with trauma to feel like they’ll never be themselves again, and struggle to see a better future for themselves. If a loved one expresses feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, remind them of how far they have come, and to be patient with themselves. Remind them that it’s okay to have good days and bad days. Remind them that you’re there to support them all the way.

If an adult opens up to you about a traumatic experience, it’s important to respect their wishes around confidentiality, unless they have expressed wanting to end their life, or there’s an ongoing danger to someone’s safety.

Avoid trying to pressure the person into taking your advice or doing what you think is best for them. Usually, someone who has been through trauma has had control taken from them, so it’s important to ensure that they are empowered to make their own decisions.

Someone who is coping with trauma may experience difficulties that make it hard for them to carry out everyday tasks and meet commitments. Offering practical support is often a good way to give your friend or family member the breathing room to focus on their mental health, without extra pressure.

Practical support might involve:

  • Household chores like cooking, cleaning, walking the dog or mowing the lawn
  • Taking the kids to school or sport, doing the shopping, or helping with other errands or tasks
  • Helping them get to and from health appointments, therapy, or other support services.

After experiencing trauma, many people may feel the urge to withdraw from people and activities. But spending time doing fun things with loved ones can help accelerate the healing process. But, be sure to respect their wishes and not force the pace of things if they’re not ready.

Here are some suggestions:

  • Try exercising together. Even moderate exercise can ease stress and anxiety, and help them sleep better. Ask them to join you for a walk or fitness class.
  • If they are very reluctant to socialise—which they may very well be—try to meet them where they are at. It could mean simply spending one-on-one time together doing nothing, watching a movie or hanging out in a park.

Reaching out for help, or taking the first step to finding a support service can be daunting.

Knowing where to turn, and what help is available can be confusing too. Having the help of a family member or friend can make the difference between seeking help, or not.

You could offer to help by:

  • Researching different support services
  • Finding a tool or app they can use
  • Arranging a doctor’s appointment, or helping them find the right GP for them
  • Connecting them with a therapist
  • Helping them attend appointments, or be open to discussing their experience after appointments if they would like to.

It’s important to not do anything without their permission. Make sure they feel in control and are empowered to make choices for themselves.

Looking after yourself and your own mental health

It can be really hard to support someone recovering from trauma. They may require extra attention or specific support that especially impact the people around them. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you are not alone, and there are support services available specifically for anyone who supports those with mental health issues (also known as a carer).

Remember that ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’. The best way you can care for someone else, is to make sure you are okay first. Looking after yourself as a carer means being tuned in to how you’re feeling and taking a step back when you need to.

As a friend or family member of someone who has been through trauma, exposure to their story, or photos or videos of the event, may also start to affect you. Vicarious trauma can lead to the same effects as experiencing the trauma yourself, so it’s good to be aware of it. It’s ok to set boundaries for what you feel comfortable hearing or being exposed to

It’s important to know what your limits are, and to be able to communicate these to your friend or family member. This is especially true if you’ve noticed you’re experiencing the effects of vicarious trauma, or have changed your mind about how you can help.

Healthy boundaries might include setting limits on:

  • Your exposure to stories, photos, videos or other connections to the traumatic experience
  • The practical things you have time and energy to help with
  • When and where you’re able to help, chat, or support
  • Prioritising your needs, or the needs of other people you support as well.

It can be easier to support others when you’re not doing it alone. If there are other people that can support your friend or family member as well, it’s ok to ask for help. Just remember to get their permission first, if it means sharing anything confidential.

Having someone you can talk to about your experience as a carer can help you feel more supported, and lighten the load you’re carrying. It can also help to feel more connected to others, and you might even pick up some skills or tips from other people in similar situations.

You might want to think about what is appropriate to share about the person you’re supporting, or to just stick to how it’s impacting you.

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Carer Gateway

Carer Gateway aims to make your life easier by providing emotional, practical and financial support for carers. Provides free counselling, information, peer support, emergency respite care, and financial help to carers via phone, online, and in-person services.
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Actively practice self-care

Being kind to yourself while caring for others is really important. You might feel frustrated, stretched, or even powerless, but adding shame or guilt to those emotions by criticising yourself will only make you feel worse.

It’s ok to reduce the expectations you’ve set for yourself, and to take a break when you need it.

Research shows our diet can have a big effect on how we feel. Eating well doesn’t just make us physically healthier, it can also help with our sleep, energy levels, and mood.

Our brains and bodies are linked, and exercise releases chemicals that boost our mood, including endorphins and dopamine.

To feel its benefits, you don’t have to engage in vigorous movement. Research shows gentle exercise like walking or yoga creates the same mental health benefits that running, or a high-intensity workout does.

You might also like to combine the benefits of exercising with the power of social connection, by playing a team sport or simply going for a walk with friends.

It can be easy to reach for substances when you’re feeling low to make you feel better, or escape overwhelming feelings in the short term. But drugs and alcohol can make us feel worse, especially when we’re already in a challenging mental state. Substances that alter our thought patterns can really amplify any feelings of distress.

Sleeping well is a really important part of mental health, but taking on too much as a carer can make healthy sleep patterns feel impossible.

Developing good sleep habits can help you get that important good night's sleep.

These can include:

  • Switching off your screens before bed
  • Avoiding alcohol and caffeine before bed
  • If you can’t sleep, get up and do something calming until you feel sleepy, rather than laying there and getting frustrated
  • Trying to avoid napping during the day
  • Keeping the bedroom for just sleep and sex.

You might find that engaging in regular exercise, eating a balanced diet and regularly engaging in self-care like meditation can make sleeping easier.

Research shows that being in nature can improve our mood. Connecting with the outside world is also a great way to reduce stress by reconnecting with the world around you.

Creating a regular routine can work wonders. Sticking to a routine can:

  • Promote healthy habits
  • Combat or prevent burnout
  • Relieve anxiety
  • Boost motivation levels
  • Help us feel a sense of accomplishment.

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