Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is when you become intensely focused on perceived flaws in your appearance. These are flaws that often aren’t noticeable or may not even exist. The thoughts and feelings that come with BDD can take over daily life by affecting your self-esteem, relationships, and routines.

Signs of BDD may include:

• Constantly checking mirrors or avoiding them altogether
• Comparing your appearance to others, especially on social media
• Seeking reassurance about perceived flaws from others
• Feeling the urgent need to cover perceived flaws with makeup, clothing, or accessories, even in situations like being home alone
• Avoiding social situations out of fear others will notice or judge these perceived flaws.

Body obsession, on the other hand, involves an intense focus on achieving a specific body shape or look, often driven by societal ideals. This might mean fixating on weight loss, muscle gain, or meeting unrealistic beauty standards.

Both BDD and body obsession can cause frustration, low self-worth, and withdrawal from others.

It’s important to know these thoughts are not your fault, and support is available to help you feel more confident and free. Click here to learn more about BDD at Butterfly's website.

• Mood swings: Irritability, anxiety, or frequent low moods
• Self-criticism: Struggling with guilt, shame, or low self-esteem
• Fear or worry: Anxiety around food, exercise, or how your body looks
• Loneliness or isolation: Feeling misunderstood or disconnected from others.

• Secretive behaviours: Avoiding meals with others or hiding your eating habits
• Compulsive exercise: Feeling the need to exercise excessively, even when tired or injured
• Changes in routines: Skipping social events or avoiding situations that involve food.

Eating disorders can show up differently in kids and young people than they do in adults, which can make the signs harder to spot. Young people might not have the words to explain how they’re feeling, so their struggles often come through in other ways, like changes in behaviour, physical health, or emotions.

Recognising these signs can help you understand when a child or young person might be struggling and could need support.

Physical signs

• Changes in growth or development: Slowed growth or delayed puberty compared to their peers
• Unexplained weight changes: Noticeable shifts in weight that seem unusual for their age
• Frequent health complaints: Regular stomachaches, dizziness, headaches, fatigue, or other unexplained physical issues
• Changes in appearance: Dry skin, brittle nails, or thinning hair
• Avoiding certain foods or meals: Saying they’re not hungry or becoming overly selective about foods they used to enjoy.

Behavioural signs

• Increased secrecy: Avoiding family meals, hiding food, or eating alone more often
• Changes in activity levels: Exercising more than usual, even when tired or unwell
• Focus on body image: Spending a lot of time worrying about how they look or their weight
• Disrupted routines: Skipping meals, avoiding social situations, or pulling back from family events that involve food
• Fixating on food ‘rules’: Talking about foods being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and avoiding entire food groups.

Emotional signs

• Mood swings: Becoming more irritable, anxious, or withdrawn
• Low self-esteem: Criticising their body or comparing themselves to others
• Fear around food: Feeling upset, overwhelmed, or anxious during meal times
• Social withdrawal: Spending less time with friends or family and becoming more isolated.

• Anxiety and low moods: Persistent worry, fear, or feelings of hopelessness that can feel hard to shake
• Shame and guilt: Feeling embarrassed or critical of yourself about eating, exercise, or body image
• Low self-esteem: Struggling with self-worth or feeling like you’re not good enough
• Perfectionism: Putting pressure on yourself to meet impossible standards, leading to constant self-criticism
• Irritability and anger: Feeling on edge or reacting strongly to things that might not normally bother you
• Emotional exhaustion: The mental strain of trying to manage thoughts or behaviours, leaving you feeling drained
• Difficulty concentrating: Finding it hard to focus or stay present, which can affect work, school, or daily tasks.

It’s important to remember you’re not alone and these feelings don’t define who you are. With the right support, it’s possible to navigate these emotions and take steps toward feeling better.

• Isolation: Withdrawing from friends, family, or social activities, often due to shame, discomfort, or preoccupation with food and body image
• Missing out: Skipping hobbies, sports, or events that involve food, or avoiding situations where you feel self-conscious about eating
• Strained relationships: Feeling misunderstood or judged by others, leading to arguments, tension, or difficulty opening up
• Arguments around food: Disagreements with loved ones over eating habits or concerns about your health
• Financial strain: Spending money on things like binge eating, laxatives, or specialised diets
• Difficulties at school or work: Struggling to focus, stay engaged, or manage responsibilities due to low energy or emotional distress.

Connecting with others and rebuilding relationships might feel challenging, but it’s absolutely possible. Keep in mind that it’s just as important to work on the relationship you have with yourself.

You can learn more about self-esteem and mental health by clicking here.

Anorexia nervosa (AN) is an eating disorder where you restrict your food intake, leading to a body weight that’s unhealthily low for your age, gender, and health needs.

AN often comes with an intense fear of gaining weight, even when weight is already very low, and can involve seeing your body differently from how others do.

Signs of AN may include:

• Skipping meals or eating very small portions
• Obsessing over calories or ‘safe foods’
• Exercising excessively, even when tired or injured
• Avoiding social situations to avoid meals.

Bulimia nervosa (BN) involves a pattern of binge eating (eating large amounts of food in a short time) followed by purging (getting rid of the food through vomiting, laxatives, engaging in a binge-starve-binge cycle, or over-exercising).

Signs of BN may include:

• Eating in secret or feeling out of control around food
• Purging after meals or snacks
• Using diuretics or laxatives to manage weight
• Feeling guilt or shame after eating.

Other specified feeding and eating disorders (OSFED) refers to EDs that cause significant distress or impact daily life but don’t meet the full criteria for specific conditions like anorexia or bulimia.

This category includes patterns such as atypical anorexia (significant weight loss but within a normal range), bulimia, or binge eating with less frequent episodes, purging without bingeing, and night eating syndrome.

While these behaviours may not fit into traditional diagnoses, they are serious and deserve support and attention.

• Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID): ARFID is a pattern of avoiding or restricting certain foods, often due to sensory sensitivities, fear of choking or vomiting, or a lack of interest in eating. Unlike other EDs, ARFID isn’t driven by body image challenges.
• Orthorexia: Orthorexia is an obsession with eating only foods considered ‘healthy’ or ‘clean.’ While striving to eat healthily isn’t inherently harmful, orthorexia can lead to physical, emotional, or social harm.
• Pica: Pica is the urge to eat non-food items, such as dirt, chalk, or paper. This is often linked to nutritional deficiencies or other underlying factors.
• Rumination disorder: Rumination disorder is a pattern of regurgitating food after eating, sometimes re-chewing and swallowing it again. This behaviour is unintentional and not associated with medical issues like nausea.
• Unspecified feeding or eating disorder (UFED): UFED acknowledges disordered eating behaviours that cause distress or impairment but don’t fit neatly into other categories, including OSFED. It focuses less on identifying a specific type of behaviour and more on validating that you're struggling with eating-related challenges that impact your wellbeing.

• Perfectionism: Striving for impossible standards can leave you feeling like you’re never good enough, no matter how hard you try
• Low self-esteem: Feeling unworthy or not good enough can affect how you think about food and your body
• Emotional coping: Eating challenges can sometimes feel like a way to manage hard feelings like sadness, anger, or stress
• Need for control: When life feels overwhelming, focusing on food might feel like a way to create balance or regain control
• Trauma or chronic stress: Experiences like bullying, grief, or domestic and family violence can make disordered eating more likely
• Negative body image: Feeling unhappy with how you look can influence eating and exercise patterns.

• Media and beauty standards: Social media, movies, and ads often promote unrealistic and unachievable ideals about appearance
• Comparison culture: Seeing the ‘best’ parts of others’ lives online can lead to unhealthy comparisons and dissatisfaction with yourself
• Community and peer pressure: Activities or jobs that focus on appearance, like modelling or certain sports, can encourage harmful behaviours
• Weight stigma: Facing judgement or pressure about your body size can contribute to disordered eating patterns
• Family attitudes and behaviours: Growing up around strict rules about food or negative comments about weight can shape how you feel about eating and your body.

Dieting is one of the strongest predictors of the development of an eating disorder.

The strict and restrictive nature of many diets can leave you feeling hungry, deprived, and frustrated. While you might try to ignore these feelings at first, the deprivation can build over time and lead to intense food cravings.

This can sometimes result in eating large amounts of food in response, which may leave you feeling guilty or like you’ve failed. These emotions can create a negative and overwhelming cycle, making food and eating feel stressful or shameful.

In today’s world, where everything is so accessible and immediate, there’s a cultural shift toward valuing instant gratification. It’s completely understandable to want quick results; this is something many of us have been conditioned to expect. But managing weight safely for health reasons can feel even harder when the desire for immediate change pushes us toward unsustainable or unhealthy behaviours.

To learn more about the connection between eating disorders and dieting, you can visit the National Eating Disorders Collaboration (NEDC) website.

Truth: Eating disorders can affect anyone, no matter their age, gender, or background. If you’re struggling, it doesn’t matter who you are; you deserve support.

Truth: Eating disorders are about so much more than what someone eats or how they look. They’re often tied to deeper struggles like trying to cope with overwhelming emotions or dealing with difficult experiences.

Truth: Eating disorders don’t have a ‘look’. You can’t always tell what someone is going through based on their weight or appearance. People of all shapes and sizes can experience serious challenges.

Truth: Eating disorders are complex conditions that affect both your body and your mind. Without treatment, they can lead to serious health risks. They deserve to be taken seriously.

Truth: You don’t choose to have an eating disorder. They develop from a mix of biological, emotional, and social/cultural influences. It’s important to approach yourself with kindness, not blame.

Truth: Recovery isn’t just about food. It’s about healing the emotions, beliefs, and patterns that go with the eating disorder. Learning to eat again is just one part of the journey.

Truth: Eating disorders are painful and serious struggles, not a way to seek attention. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve understanding, not judgement.

Truth: Recovery is absolutely possible. It might take time and patience, but with the right support, you can find a healthier and more peaceful relationship with food and yourself.

When stress or anxiety feels all-consuming, whether during a meal, after a triggering comment, or in moments of self-doubt, deep breathing can help ease both physical and emotional tension. It slows your heart rate, calms your mind, and makes it easier to face overwhelming thoughts.

How to do box breathing:

• Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of 4
• Hold your breath for a count of 4
  Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 6
• Repeat until you feel calmer and more in control.

Try it now: Use our guided box breathing video to practise this calming technique.

If thoughts about food, body image, or emotions feel overwhelming, mindfulness and meditation can help. These practices help you learn to focus on the present moment, like the rhythm of your breath, the sensations in your body, or the world around you to ease feelings of stress or anxiety.

Tips for getting started with mindfulness and meditation:

• Explore guided meditations: Apps like Smiling Mind and Calm offer beginner-friendly sessions that focus on relaxation, self-compassion, and grounding.
• Practise mindful breathing: Breathing exercises (like the box breathing video above) can help you regulate racing thoughts, heart rate, and other distressing sensations.
• Try mealtime mindfulness: During meals, notice the colours, textures, and tastes of your food. By paying attention to the experience of eating, you can create a more intentional and positive connection with food.

These small moments of mindfulness can help you build a more compassionate relationship with your thoughts and emotions. Over time, they may become a valuable tool for finding balance and support as you navigate your healing journey.

When you’re stuck in cycles of guilt, fear, or overwhelm around food, exercise, or your body, pausing to ask, ‘What do I need right now?’ can help.

Self check-ins create a moment to reflect on what’s beneath the surface and respond to your needs with kindness, rather than reacting from a place of habit or distress.

Here’s how self-check-ins can support you:

• If you need rest: The physical and mental toll of eating challenges can leave you feeling drained. Resting, even for a few minutes in a quiet space, can help recharge both your body and emotions.
• If you need connection: Feeling isolated often deepens the weight of struggles. Reaching out to someone you trust can remind you that you’re not alone, even if things feel tough.
• If you need distraction: When emotions feel overwhelming, low-effort activities like scribbling in a notepad, listening to calming music, or watching a familiar show can help shift your focus and create a sense of relief.

Treat self check-ins as a way to care for yourself, the same way you would for a friend. They can be a powerful tool for navigating challenging moments.

When it feels like you’re carrying your struggles alone, sharing how you’re feeling can lighten the load. Eating challenges and EDs thrive in isolation, so reaching out to someone (like a friend, family member, teacher, or helpline like Lifeline or Butterfly) can remind you that you’re not alone.

Opening up might feel intimidating, but it’s not about finding the ‘perfect’ words. It’s about starting the conversation.

Here are some ideas:

• ‘I’ve been struggling with how I feel about food and my body. I think I need support.’
• ‘I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and could really use someone to talk to.’
• ‘I’m not sure how to explain everything, but I’ve been having a hard time, and I’d appreciate your help.’

If talking face-to-face feels too hard, consider writing down your thoughts in a note or text message. Writing can help organise your feelings and make sharing them a little easier.

Click here to learn more about the benefits of talking to someone you trust.

Gentle distractions or acts of self-care can be especially helpful when distressing thoughts about food or body image take over. They provide a break from the cycle of worry and create a sense of safety and control during difficult moments.

Ideas to try:

• Journaling: Write down your thoughts to process emotions or reflect on something positive, like a small win or a moment of gratitude. Click here for prompts to get started.
• Listening to music: Create a playlist of songs that calm or uplift you, helping shift your focus.
• Making a self-care box: Fill a box with comforting items like a favourite book, a cosy blanket, or grounding tools. Having everything ready can make self-care easier when you need it most. Click here to learn more about creating a self-care box.

Self-care doesn’t need to be perfect or complicated. The goal is to find what feels comforting and supportive for you in the moment.

Triggers are anything that can intensify difficult thoughts, feelings, or behaviours. They might be specific situations, emotions, or even small everyday moments.

Common triggers include:

• Stress or anxiety: Feeling overwhelmed might lead to using food or exercise as a way to regain calm or control
• Low self-esteem or self-criticism: Negative self-talk about your appearance, abilities, or worth can reinforce unhelpful patterns
• Difficult emotions: Suppressing feelings like sadness, frustration, or anger might seem easier at first, but these emotions can build and feel harder to manage later
• Social events: Gatherings around food can bring feelings of discomfort, worry, or comparison, especially when there are unspoken pressures
• Media messages: Social media, advertising, or even health campaigns can amplify feelings of self-doubt or fuel harmful comparisons
• Conversations about weight or appearance: Even well-meaning comments about body size, shape, or dieting can feel overwhelming and reinforce unhelpful thoughts.

Remember - recognising your triggers is about building awareness so you can approach them with self-compassion and feel more prepared to manage them.

Mealtimes can feel overwhelming, especially when emotions around eating are heightened. Controlling your environment can reduce pressure and help you focus on your needs.

You can say:

• ‘I feel more comfortable eating on my own right now. It helps me focus on what I need.’
• ‘I appreciate your care, but I need some space during meals to work through things in my own way.’

Focusing on your wellbeing takes emotional and mental energy, and it’s okay to step back from others’ needs while you take care of yourself.

You can say:

• ‘I’m working through some personal things right now, so I might not have the capacity to spend as much time together. I hope you understand.’
• ‘I need to focus on myself for a bit. I’m still here, but I might need some extra space.’

Establishing a routine for meals and snacks can create a sense of stability, helping your body and mind feel more supported.

How regular meal times can help:

• Stabilising hunger cues: Eating at consistent times can help your body recognise when it’s time to eat, reducing feelings of intense hunger or unpredictability.
• Easing food-related anxiety: Knowing when your next meal or snack is coming can reduce stress around food decisions and help you feel more in control.
• Supporting physical health: Regular meals provide steady energy for your body and brain, making it easier to focus and engage in daily activities.
• Encouraging mindfulness: Taking time to sit down for meals can help you connect with your food and experience eating in a calmer, more intentional way.

How to get started:

• Begin with small steps: If planning an entire day feels overwhelming, start with setting times for one or two meals and build from there.
• Incorporate snacks: Plan for balanced snacks between meals to keep your energy steady and prevent extreme hunger.
• Create a calming meal environment: Eat in a space where you feel comfortable, free from distractions like phones or TV, to focus on your food and your body’s signals.

If you find it hard to establish regular meal times, that’s okay. This process takes time, and you don’t need to get it perfect. Over time, consistent eating can help your body feel more stable, reduce stress, and support your healing.

Body-positive activities are small, intentional actions that help you connect with your body in supportive and compassionate ways. These practices help you learn to appreciate what your body does for you and treat it with the care it deserves.

Here are some ways to get started:

• Stretch or move gently: Movement can be a way to celebrate what your body can do, not how it looks. Try activities like gentle stretching, yoga, or a short walk.
• Soothe yourself: Show your body kindness through comforting actions like applying a soothing lotion, taking a warm bath, or wearing soft, supportive clothing that makes you feel good.
• Reconnect with your senses: Explore activities that bring you back to the present moment, like feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin, listening to calming music, or holding a warm cup of tea in your hands.
• Create a self-care space: Dedicate a corner of your home to activities that feel nurturing. This might include a favourite blanket, a journal, or items that bring you joy, like candles or plants.

Over time, these activities can help shift your focus from self-criticism to self-appreciation, fostering a more positive and nurturing relationship with your body.

• Set aside specific times for social media use and stick to them
• Start with a small goal, like replacing 10 minutes of scrolling with another activity, and build from there
• Curate your social media feeds to follow body-positive or supportive accounts that uplift you if completely stepping away feels too hard.

Even small changes in how you spend your time can have a big impact on your mental health and overall wellbeing. By swapping social media for habits that bring joy or relaxation, you’re prioritising yourself in ways that truly matter.

Click here to learn more tips for doing a digital detox.

Eating

• Eating a variety of foods from all food groups (e.g., cereals, dairy, meat, fruit, and vegetables)
• Including protein, carbohydrates, and fats in your diet
• Having a fluctuating appetite and responding to hunger or fullness cues
• Enjoying all types of food, including during social situations or cultural events
• Eating mindfully and being flexible about your food choices
• Eating regularly (every 3–4 hours) with adequate portions and snacks to support your body’s needs
• Drinking enough water
• Managing emotions without relying on dieting or exercise
• Feeling relaxed and at ease about food choices
• Enjoying 1–2 standard alcoholic drinks, if desired.

Exercise

• Resting and moving your body in different ways at varying intensities
• Exercising within recommended activity guidelines and for enjoyment or performance
• Exercising in ways that support mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing
• Taking rest days and breaks from exercise routines when on holiday, injured, or unwell
• Pairing exercise with proper nutrition to promote recovery.

Click here to download InsideOut’s Fact Sheet on Healthy vs Unhealthy Behaviours.

Eating

• Cutting out food groups or following rigid diets without medical advice
• Constantly dieting or switching between diets
• Feeling anxious, guilty, or fearful about eating or certain foods
• Avoiding meals with others or using food as a reward. Measuring, counting, or weighing food and calories obsessively
• Engaging in compensatory behaviours like vomiting, laxatives, diuretics, or extreme fasting
• Over-restricting food, denying desired foods, or eating in secret
• Using substances or distractions to suppress appetite
• Labelling foods or yourself as ‘good’, ‘bad’, or a ‘failure’ based on eating choices
• Relying on quick fixes instead of whole foods or balanced eating
• Avoiding food prepared by others or fearing fullness
• Using competitive sports to justify extreme eating behaviours.

Exercise

• Exercising while sick or injured
• Using exercise as a means of punishment or control
• Exercising purely to burn calories rather than for fun or enjoyment
• Not allowing sufficient recovery time, leading to poor performance, frequent illness, disturbed sleep, and changes in mood
• Engaging in guilt-driven exercise without enjoyment
• Exercising through pain
• Labelling yourself as a failure if you break an exercise routine
• Using exercise as a reason to eat
• Engaging in extended bouts of exercise (>60 minutes) multiple times a day
• Feeling addicted to or compelled to exercise, including exercising privately or at unconventional times (e.g., very early in the morning or late at night)
• Experiencing anxiety related to the inability to exercise
• Feeling compelled to exercise more
• Having changes in menstrual cycle or low testosterone levels due to excessive exercise and dietary habits
• Feeling compelled to perform one particular type of exercise only
• Engaging in deliberate behaviours to maximise energy expenditure
• Believing that exercise takes precedence over other life activities
• Using competitive sport as a justification for extreme exercise regimes.

Click here to download InsideOut’s Fact Sheet on Healthy vs Unhealthy Behaviours.

Keeping track of calories, weight, or exercise stats can feel like a way to stay in control, but over time, it can often lead to feelings of anxiety, self-criticism, or fixation.

Letting go of tracking might feel challenging at first, but it can help you focus on how you feel, not what the numbers say.

Here are some tips to help you take that step:

• Take a break from the scale: If weighing yourself causes stress, consider stepping away from it for a while or even removing it from your space altogether. This can help shift your focus to what your body needs and how it feels, rather than a number that doesn’t define your worth.
• Celebrate non-numerical progress: Instead of tracking calories or reps, notice other signs of progress, like feeling more energised, enjoying a walk outside, or having a meal without guilt. These moments are meaningful milestones that reflect real growth and healing.
• Trust a professional when tracking is necessary: If monitoring weight or intake is part of your health plan, let a trusted health professional handle it. They can offer insight without the emotional pressure of self-tracking.

If this feels especially difficult, reaching out to a counsellor or a support group can give you guidance and encouragement. You’re not alone, and it’s okay to ask for help as you explore healthier ways of caring for yourself.

If you’re feeling stuck or unsure how to move forward, speaking to your GP can be a great starting point. They can help you explore options for ongoing support, including creating a Mental Health Treatment Plan.

A Mental Health Treatment Plan is a personalised plan that your GP develops with you. It can provide access to Medicare-subsidised sessions with mental health professionals, such as psychologists, dietitians, or counsellors, who specialise in areas like eating challenges, body image, and emotional wellbeing.

If you feel nervous about the conversation, you don’t need to have everything figured out beforehand. Just sharing how you’ve been feeling is a meaningful first step. Your GP is there to listen and help guide you toward the support that feels right for you.

Click here for more details about Mental Health Treatment Plans and how they work.

The C.A.R.E. framework, which stands for Connect, Ask, Remind, Empower, offers a simple way to express care, quickly build trust, and safely connect with someone who’s experiencing the distressing emotions that can come with eating challenges and EDs.

To learn more about C.A.R.E. or for more conversation tips, read our guide on how to talk to someone about their mental health.

The words you use can make a big difference. Supportive language can help the person you care about feel safe and understood while reducing feelings of shame or isolation.

You can say things like:

• ‘I may not fully understand what you’re feeling, but I’m here to listen whenever you feel ready to talk.’
• ‘I care about you and want to support you in whatever way feels best for you.’
• ‘It’s okay to take things one step at a time, I’m here for you.’
• ‘I can’t imagine how hard this is for you, but I believe in your strength and ability to overcome it.’

Try to avoid:

• ‘But you don’t look sick.’
• ‘Everyone has body image issues.’
• ‘It’s just a phase, you’ll get over it.’
• ‘Just think positively.’
• ‘It’s not that big of a deal.’

Focusing on understanding rather than solutions can help the person you care about feel more comfortable opening up.

Empathy involves deeply understanding and sharing another person’s feelings, which can be more comforting and feel more authentic than sympathy.

To show empathy, you might say something like ‘I understand why you’re hurting so much right now’ or share your own experiences in a way that supports the way the other person is feeling, rather than shifts the focus away.

Below, you can watch a helpful video that explains the difference between empathy and sympathy.

Your care matters deeply, but eating concerns and EDs often require professional help. If it feels right, you can gently encourage the person you care about to connect with a GP, counsellor, or helpline like Butterfly.

For example, you can say:

• ‘I wonder if speaking to someone like a counsellor could help lighten the load.’
• ‘If you’d like, I can help you find someone to talk to or go with you to an appointment.’

You can find services like the Butterfly National Helpline (1800 ED HOPE) or search local options with the Lifeline Service Finder. Alternatively, you can send them a link to our eating and body image topic, which can help guide them to the type of support they’re looking for.

When you notice changes in someone’s behaviour, it can be easy to jump to conclusions or feel unsure about what to say. Instead of making assumptions, try observing the person you care about’s actions with care and curiosity.

Gently raising your concerns shows that you’ve noticed something is different and that you care without making the person feel judged or defensive.

For example, you could say: ‘I’ve noticed you seem stressed about meals lately. I’m here to support you if you’d like to talk.’

This approach creates a safe space for them to share their feelings, letting them know they’re not alone and that help is available. It’s not about solving the problem, but showing that you’re there.

Healing can be a long road. Your consistent and non-judgemental encouragement during challenging moments can help the person you care about stay motivated. If you try to constantly monitor someone’s eating habits or behaviours, it might make the other person pull away.

Instead, focus on strengthening your relationship by:

• Suggesting non-food-related activities like a movie night or a walk
  Including them in plans without pressure, even if they decline
• Offering affirmations of their worth beyond their eating habits. For example: ‘I love spending time with you, no matter what we’re doing.’

Remember, it’s not your job to ‘fix’ anyone.

Healing and recovering from an ED can leave the person you're supporting feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, making everyday tasks feel unmanageable. Offering practical help can be one of the most meaningful ways you can provide support and show you care.

This could look like:

• Running errands
• Helping with kids
• Helping with household chores.

Your ongoing assistance and support can make a significant difference in their daily life.

Self-care can feel challenging for someone navigating eating challenges or an ED. They might feel undeserving of care or struggle to know where to start. Gently encouraging self-care reminds them that their wellbeing matters and that small, nourishing actions can make a difference.

Examples of self-care to explore:

• Gentle movement: Suggest activities like stretching, walking, or yoga that focus on how their body feels rather than how it looks. You can say, ‘A short walk together might help us both feel more refreshed.’
• Finding quiet time: Suggest simple ways to rest their mind, like sitting outside for fresh air, listening to music they enjoy, or practising slow, mindful breathing.
• Creative outlets: Recommend low-pressure activities like doodling, journaling, or working on a puzzle. These can be calming ways to express emotions and shift focus from distressing thoughts.

These small moments of care can help the person you care about reconnect with themselves and create a sense of safety and balance. Even the smallest act, like drinking a glass of water or taking a few minutes to pause, is meaningful.

It’s normal to second-guess yourself when you notice changes in someone’s behaviour or habits, especially when the signs are subtle.

You might wonder if you’re overreacting or whether it’s your place to say something. Eating challenges and EDs can show up in many ways, and everyone’s experience is unique.

Common signs can include:

• Changes in appearance: Shifts in weight, dry skin, or thinning hair
• Avoidance of meals: Making excuses not to eat or skipping meals entirely
• Rigid food rules: Cutting out food groups or frequent talk about diets
  Excessive exercise: Continuing to exercise even when tired, unwell, or injured
• Social withdrawal: Pulling back from activities or events they used to enjoy
• Negative self-talk: Comments about their body or frequent comparisons to others.

If you’re concerned about a child or teenager, visit our signs and effects of eating challenges and EDs page for age-specific insights.

Supporting someone through eating challenges or an ED can bring up a mix of feelings, from hope and love to frustration and worry. These emotions are valid, and it’s important to take time to process them.

Ways to manage your feelings:

• Journaling: Write about your thoughts to help untangle your emotions and gain clarity. Click here for journaling prompts to get started.
• Talking to someone you trust: Share your experiences with a friend, family member, or therapist who can offer perspective and support. Click here to learn tips for talking to someone you trust.
• Practising mindfulness: Spend a few quiet moments focusing on your breath to help manage stress and find calm. Click here to learn how to get started with mindfulness.

Boundaries protect your emotional wellbeing and make your support sustainable. They’re not about pushing someone away but about recognising your limits and communicating them with care.

You can try setting boundaries like:

• Define your emotional capacity: ‘I’m happy to talk about how you’re feeling, but I might need to step away if it becomes overwhelming. Let’s write down trusted people or helplines you can contact if I need a break.’
• Set limits on triggering topics: ‘I’m here to listen, but I’d prefer not to talk about specific details like calories or purging behaviours. Let’s focus on how I can support you emotionally instead.’
• Recognise when you need a break: ‘I love being here for you, but I need some time to rest. I’ll check in with you soon.’

Setting boundaries ensures you can continue offering support without feeling overwhelmed or taking on too much responsibility.

You don’t have to do this alone. There are services and resources specifically designed for carers of people with eating concerns or EDs:

• Eating Disorders Families Australia: Free online support groups, learning resources, and one-to-one video counselling specifically for carers. Click here to learn more.
• Butterfly: Specialist support for individuals and carers, including a helpline, counselling, and resources. Click here to learn more.
• InsideOut Institute for Eating Disorders: Offers online tools, assessments, and self-led programs for carers and individuals. Click here to learn more.
• Eating Disorders Families Australia (EDFA): Provides workshops, forums, and resources tailored for families and carers. Click here to learn more.
• Carer Gateway: Offers practical advice, peer support, and counselling for carers across Australia. Click here to learn more.

Reaching out for support isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a way to stay strong and resilient for the person you care about.